Select Story

Mr. Snicker’s Misadventure

by John Thornberry

Uncle Isaac Snickers, citizen of Gossippee, a charming little village some ways back in Connecticut, had finally made up his mind that it was high time for him to go to New York. He had been once, when he was a boy in a satinet jacket and bone buttons, and never since. From that day forward to this very important one of his resolution, he had kept himself quite at home, while the great metropolis had gone on growing like a monstrous giant, as it is.

He bade his family a very hearty adieu, and jogged away out of the dooryard with the gray mare, to reach the distant railroad station. Everybody he met he wanted to tell of his projected trip, and at least to half of them he did. The cars took him to the boat,—one of the magnificent steamers that plough the length of the Sound,—on which he duly embarked not far from ten o’clock at night, prepared, carpet-bag in hand, to undertake a thorough survey of the premises before “turning in.”

It is needless to follow him about the decks of the steamer, smiling pleasantly at his efforts to observe all there was worth observing; certainly would it be improper to follow him into the ladies’ cabin whither he made a successful sally, in his innocent eagerness to “find out jest how the hull concern was managed.” We will suffer him to go to bed and get up again, just as he was in the habit of doing at his own quiet home in Gossippee.

Early the next morning he was out of his berth, had washed himself thoroughly, and made his appearance on deck just as the sun began to foreshow signs of its ruddy coming in the east. He looked in the direction of sunrise with one eye shut and a corner of his large mouth elevated to match, and took out his big silver watch to set himself right to begin upon. And then he commenced the proper investigation of matters and things by daylight.

One… Read More